Growing up Goth - after the phase cements.

I'm in my mid twenties.  I've been dressing in corsets, lots of black, impractical boots and too much eyeliner since my late teens when I finally got full rein on my wardrobe, and I've never once regretted it.  I was in medical school without image-related issues for three years before transferring to Psychology (finished my third year exams today, booyah!)  So today, on World Goth Day, I'll impart a few quick, positive affirmations off the top of my head for all those of you leaving school and wondering if you will need to sacrifice your sartorial preferences to pursue your career, rather than changing just because you want to (or even sticking with it, like I am).

1. It's not as bad as they say - you won't have to stop having your own style.  I only needed to make small adjustments in medical school. I dressed how I pleased to class and only toned it down for ward visits and patient interactions.  A deathhawk and cyberdog outfits will not fly in some environments, but the NHS and many other employers are increasingly relaxed about dyed hair so long as it's neat, tattoos as long as visible ones aren't offensive, and eyeliner and piercings provided makeup and body mods don't pose a hygiene issue.  Just exercise common sense.  You can find fantastic goth-friendly clothes which are well suited to boardrooms and consultations and save your 12 inch platforms for off-duty wear.  In Psychology, we come in a range of shapes, sizes and styles, and researchers in particular can wear a relaxed wardrobe.  I had a massively goth friend who has a degree in law and did well in the courtroom (obviously she had to wear the robes like everyone else, but her suits were fabulous).  Look at your career plans and invest in clothes you love that would be acceptable, but there's no need to throw out the black and purple in favour of an all-grey wardrobe of cookie-cutter suits and a sensible brown-with highlights chic bob. (Though if you like that look, no judgement, and carry on rocking that bob, you sassy, saucy person.)
2.  Be a good colleague and you'll likely be accepted.  This is me right now.  I'm accepted by students, lecturers and others because I act in a friendly, helpful manner, pull my weight and join in.  If you're a good person to others, no amount of unusual style choices will make you an outcast.                                                          
3.  YOU CAN GET A JOB.  I've had a few.  Some are more accepting than others, but as I mentioned before, everywhere's getting more accepting.  I've worked in IT, in shops and bars alongside my studies.  And you can keep your social life.  And the modelling on the side, and your hobbies, and everything else.  Your life can be flexed into the shape you desire.  There are grown professional goths out there with careers and families who I still see on the occasional club night or at gigs.  Work out what you need, how you can have it and plan ahead, and you can balance that work and life.
4. Always make choices that work for you.  Never be shamed for quitting something you didn't like or that wasn't working.  Don't take grief for pursuing your own ambitions.  Whether you want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a tattooist, a jewellery maker, a novelist, a stay-at-home parent or a professional costumer/re-enactor, find out what you want to do and go for it.  Don't look back on life and regret it because you spent all your time being what other people want you to be.
5. Above all, look after yourself, be with people who make you happy, and keep on being you.

Happy World Goth Day!

Killing Time: the Freak tag.

I try not to engage with these things as I want this blog to be focussed, however my posting has been so near to non-existent recently I reckon I can justify it this one time.  I got this from Ali at Zombies Wear Eyeliner, who does makeup reviews for cheapskates (almost everything is pharmacy brand stuff) and thus is someone I endorse.  Check her out.

1. What's a nickname only your family calls you?

They don't anymore, but my mother used to call me 'Leggy Lucy' all the time, for the imaginative reason that I have fairly long legs and am taller than average.
I'm not called Lucy.

2. What's a weird habit of yours?

Hrmmm.  Not sure if this counts as a 'weird habit', but I guess it's an odd ritual for me, a person with no religious affiliation, spirituality or belief in an afterlife.  I regularly light incense or scented candles and sit by my window chatting to my deceased grandfathers.
Oh, I'm also a compulsive kitchen dancer.  This also extends to my walks around the block with the dog, if I think no-one's watching.  Usually ends with me sheepishly pretending I stumbled or something as I notice someone rounding the corner up ahead.

3. Do you have any weird phobias?

Not really.  After spending various periods of my life dissecting cadavers, climbing up trees, jumping into the sea and rooting through the undergrowth for minibeasts, I certainly don't have much of a phobia about anything... except a sort of oddly-specific claustrophobic that only triggered once when I was squeezing between two rock faces out in the mountains.  I've been locked in trunks and use elevators with impunity, but that reduced me to a sobbing wreck.

4. What's a song you secretly love to blast and belt out when you're alone?

I have no shame about any of my music collection.  Also, when I'm alone I actually quite like the silence and I keep the sound down around other people so I don't have any one song saved for such an occasion.

5. What's one of your biggest pet peeves?

 "I would of/ should of/ could of..."  Look, I get that the shortened 'would've' sounds like that, but when people specifically pronounce or spell out that 'of' I want to break things.  It's HAVE.

6. What's one of your nervous habits? 

When I'm stressed or nervous, my body starts to switch off and I begin to zone out and, eventually, fall asleep.  Whilst this is a great way of calming me right the way down, it usually leads to more stress later as I realise I have lots to do with a nearing deadline - then I start to shut down again.  I am still trying to stop this happening.  A milder symptom of nerves is a sudden fascination with bits of fluff stuck to my clothes.

7. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

Next to the bedside table, on the left.  My bed is a queen-size (fits two with a small amount of room to spare), but the side against the wall is directly beneath a shelf that I can easily whack my head off.  I have tried sleeping in the centre of the bed before but inevitably end up rolling onto my side, towards the edge.

8. What was your first stuffed animal and it's name?

Oh, err... Bruin, a little brown teddy bear with a red neck bow, I think.  Mum also knitted me a 'topsy-turvy' doll, but she doesn't count as an animal.

9. What's the drink you always order at Starbucks?

I don't go to Starbucks.  I hate their drinks and the prices they charge for them.  Their hot chocolate is disgusting, I'm not a huge coffee fan and their tea's nothing to write home about either.  COME AT ME, BRO.

10. What's a beauty rule you preach, but never actually practice?

I don't preach any beauty rules per se, but whilst I know it's bad to touch your face constantly I can't help it - I'm forever checking for oil and obsessing about whether my eyeliner's running off the waterline.

11. Which way do you face in the shower?

EVERY WAY.  Sometimes I just sit in the bottom of the bath and look grumpy.

12. Do you have any 'weird' body 'skills'?

I can feel my pulse in any part of my body if I sit and concentrate.  Does that count?

13. What's your favourite comfort food that's 'bad' but you love to eat it anyway?

There is no such thing as bad food.  If you mean on the less healthy scale, I'm a bit of a biscuit fiend, and I will never turn down a pork pie, which as far as I'm concerned is never for sharing even if it's the size of my head.

14. What's a phrase or exclamation you always say?

'Marp'. Or, on the angrier side, 'WHY CAN'T SHE PUT HER ******* WASHING AWAY JUST ONCE?!'  I say that a lot.

15. Time to sleep, what are you actually wearing?

OH-HO-HO, JAMMIES ADVERTISING TIME!  Often just a large t-shirt and pyjama trousers, but my favourite is this mid-calf-length white Victorian-style nightie, and I'm not averse to wearing bloomers, be they long or small (like in this set, which is cute as buttons and I couldn't resist buying.)

16. What did you used to wear that you thought was cool but now you realize it wasn't that hot?

I had a collection of bad zippy tops and blue boot-cut jeans throughout my high school years.  They are no longer in my wardrobe, for good reasons.

You're tagged if you want to be. :)

WASH YOUR BLOODY FACE - a crash course in the Oil Cleansing Method

Right, you 'orrible lot, you're all getting spotty and trying to hide it with badly applied foundation and it's NOT WORKING!

Yes, spotty skin is a big bugbear of the goth community, particularly among those who like dramatic makeup but are stalled in their aspirations of Amaranth-like flawlessness by blocked pores and oddly lumpy chins.  Now, if you're a teenager or, like me, possessed of rather oily skin with enlarged pores as you enter your twenties, thirties and beyond, spots and dots are par for the course - you can do your best to minimise them but you have to accept that the occasional blemish will arise, and you deal with it.  If you want that pimple to remain occasional, though, you need to know how to keep your skin clean - and with waterproof eyeliner and heavy foundation, that's a bit more of a challenge than those cheery young beauties splashing their faces with water in all the adverts make out.  Wet wipes will not do - you need to remove everything properly and thoroughly.  And I'm about to recommend something that seems really counter-intuitive - wash your face with oil.

Yes, oil.

See all those cleansers that boast of being oil-free?  Stuff 'em.  They're great for daily cleansing and getting a bit of food off your face after a long, messy session at the buffet, but nothing removes stubborn waterproof-based formulations and sebum-based plugs from your pores better than oil.  This is because, as all good Chemists know, 'like dissolves like' - water-based and 'hydrophillic' things dissolve in water, whilst fats, oils and other 'hydrophobic' things float on the surface of H2O and repel it whilst dissolving far better in other oily substances.  Whilst water is repelled by your hard-wearing makeup, a lot of it will come right off with a creamy or oily cleanser.

Now, I'm not saying you get a greasy chips wrapper and rub it on your mug.  When I say 'oil'  I'm talking something like olive oil, jojoba oil, castor oil etc.  You *can* use baby oil but, being derived from petrochemicals, mineral oils aren't the best thing for your skin or the planet.  You can apply those oils to a bit of cotton wool and wipe off your makeup before washing your face as usual or you can follow a more thorough routine called the Oil Cleansing Method.  This has done miracles for me, your results may vary.  For this, you need:

• A CLEAN facecloth
• An oil blend of your choice - I HIGHLY recommend jojoba oil due to its non-clogging properties, you can blend it with a little castor oil to thicken it up and help draw more gunk out your pores or use as-is.  Extra-Virgin Olive Oil is also a popular choice, particularly for those with dry skin, and has the bonus of being widely available.
• Plenty of hot water.

To start, take a bit of oil in the palm of your (clean) hand - about the size of a two-pence piece - and massage it over your DRY face. Be thorough - get into all the nooks and crannies around your nose, on your chin etc.  Do this until your face is saturated and your makeup dissolved, then take your flannel, soak it in hot water and hold it over your face until it cools.  This'll steam your pores and help loosen anything stuck in them. Massage the oil on your face again before wetting your flannel with hot water again and gently wiping it off.  Use a clean part of the flannel for each wipe.  Rinse the cloth off when necessary and keep it nice and hot.  Continue wiping until your have removed all the oil, splash your face with cold water.  Done.

Now, that was a very brief crash course in the OCM, I recommend looking it up for more info - here's a more detailed page from Acne.org.  As I mentioned I have exceptionally oily skin and at one point followed this routine once or twice a day, every day, for a month - at the end my skin looked amazing, it was not oilier and I certainly hadn't developed lots of blockages.  Some people do this once or twice a week as a deep-cleansing treatment.  Finally, if you have a skin condition like eczema or cystic acne, this might not be for you, so check with your dermatologist if you have one or perform a skin-test first.

The above is a bit of a faff, of course, and there are more convenient (and costly) options.  You can buy special cleansing oils that emulsify in water allowing you to just rinse them off.  DHC has an AMAZING one with a tiny ingredient list, but at £20 for a large bottle I don't recommend it for regular use if you're on a budget - if you do wish to try this I recommend signing up for DHC's free mail-outs, they always include samples from their range and you'll eventually get some of this magic stuff in a little sachet.  (I have one of the smaller bottles for travelling, mighty convenient if you don't wish to lug a makeup remover and cleanser around with you.)  L'Oreal have just released a much cheaper option (on offer in Superdrug now) and my first impression is that it definitely does the job - but, alas, it's probably not for those with sensitive skin, containing both mineral oil and fragrance (whyyyyy?).  Both of these rinse off beautifully, though, which can't be said for some other oils - I recall a Smashbox version that didn't dissolve makeup properly left a residue no matter how much your rinsed, nasty stuff.

For those who want to stick to more common methods, here's what you should be doing every time:

1) Remove makeup with a specialised remover prior to washing your face.
2) If you use a cleanser rather than a facewash, cleanse TWICE if you were wearing makeup.  A good deal is still left after the first pass, so clean again.
3) Always moisturise.  Even if you have oily skin.  If you dry out your skin, it'll get irritated, produce more oil and generally look a lot more annoyed.
4) Exfoliate once or twice a week.

There you go.  Two very general methods that have both served me well.  Get scrubbing.

More Budget Goth - the £20 makeup challenge

Please forgive the greyness at the start, it disappears after a few moments.  I don't know why it happened!

This is a really basic face that I usually do better but I wasn't feeling terribly good when I filmed.  I apologise for the sniffling!

Products:
Rimmel Lasting Finish 25 Hour foundation in 100 Ivory - £6.99
Stargazer pressed white powder - £3.99
MUA matte black mono eyeshadow - £1
Bourjois Kohl & Contour 16h eyeliner pencil in Noir Expert - £2.99 from cheapsmells.com
Angled brush - £1
N.Y.C. Liquid Lipstick in 438A Betti Ann - £1

Total: £16.97

I did this one by raiding my own stash and checking receipts/shops/site where I originally bought the products for prices.

IT LIIIIIVES!

I do apologise for the unannounced hiatus., dear readers.  I had a lot of work to do regarding sorting funds and debts for university and am also organising an event for our city's wonderful Steampunk society, so I have had to pt my blogging on the back burner.  I'm now drafting an introduction to the Sisters of Mercy which, for simplicity, will be a text post with accompanying videos for their songs rather than a vlog.

For those who are reading for fashion/makeup/general style purposes, here was my hair and face-a-me-doo for last night's Danse Macabre, a monthly night co-run by my partner with the theme of Goth/80's/italo/disco (I know, right?).  It's a brilliant evening.  All the makeup aside from the powder was from high street brands at the lower end of the price range, hairspray was the utterly amazing got2b Glued Blasting Freeze Spray.  It's the strongest stuff I've ever used, and my word, does it do the job.

 I forgot to adjust my webcam for this one, apologies for blurriness.

Foundation: Rimmel Lasting Finish 25 Hour Foundation in 100 Ivory 

Powder: Gothic Geisha white mineral makeup (eBay).
Eyeliner: Maybelline Eye Studio Lasting Drama gel liner
Mascara:  Maybelline Great Lash

Eyeshadow - MUA Matte Eyeshadow shade 20 (black) & white shade from beautyUK eyeshadow collection 4

Lipstick: Rimmel Lasting Finish in 128 Starry-Eyed

WHOOPS!

I have no eyebrows now.  This could take some getting used to (and getting up earlier each morning)...

Big Hair 'Secret'

Right, this is another one for the people with hair that just doesn't 'do' volume.  When I want big hair I use the following:

• A teasing brush and/or a fine-toothed comb.
• Strong or Freeze-hold hairspray
• hair that's not been washed on that day (shiny clean hair just slips straight down)
• AND... THE LATEST THING WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED THAT NO-ONE TOLD ME ABOUT: mattifying root powder.

What's that you say?  POWDER for your HAIR?  Good gracious, woman, we aren't living in the 18th century! To which I reply, STOP BEING SILLY AND TRY THIS MAGIC DEVIL-DUST.  The basic idea is that it gives your roots a bit of texture and more 'grip', allowing greater volume at the roots from which to build.  I first read of this stuff from a post by uber-goth hairdresser Iva Insane, and you can see the results she gets!

Last night I tried such a product for the first time.  Batiste XXL Volume is, as far as I can tell, powder mixed with dry shampoo which gives it a nice convenient spray-in formula and was pretty cheap (around £2), but you can also buy jars of just the powder such as Osis Dust-it or Label M Resurrection Style Dust - I think Schwartzkopf also do a cheaper high-street version in their Got2Be range. (I've not tried any of these.)  Spray in at the roots, scruff it about to distribute (and to make sure you don't have big patches of white powder giving you a 'going grey' look) and notice your hair instantly start standing a bit.  You can leave that as-it and just tousel it a little if it starts to go down later, or you can do what I did last night and continue with normal teasing and hairspray.  The result was MASSIVE and GRAVITY-DEFYING, but wanting to go for a slightly more subtle look I tamed it down to get this (which lasted all night):

I hope this little tip helps.

More Dogventures.

Need more regular stuff?

The reason I haven't uploaded the music vid is that it has become monstrously apparent that I cannot edit videos well at all.  If anyone can recommend me a simple editor that'll allow me to adjust both video and audio tracks then let me know, otherwise I'm going to resort to a continuous shot of me rambling, half-cut/half-asleep/completely clueless, about music stuff I just learned whilst falling off my chair and insulting everything for your entertainment to make up for a lack of anything decent.  In the mean time, I have a Tumblr called The Cupboard Under The Stairs where I post pictures of my face, my dog, bands I like (one way to learn about a few goth bands if you're interested) and various sewing projects that I'm working on.  Mainly.  There are occasionally other things, but it's where you can find whatever I can't say enough about to write a proper post on.

Deflating the Deathhawk

There are tutorials all over the internet on teasing, spraying and drying one's hair into the great tangled crest beloved of goths and deathrockers - but if, after you have petrified your hair to defy gravity, kept it there with touch-up spritzes and backcombing sessions in the loos, danced the weekend away and then decided to return to a more civilised appearance only to discover that you're going to need a MUCH stronger comb, what do you do*?  I once tried a detangling spray but it only seemed to make things worse and, bizarrely, stickier.  Here's what I doing right now.

YOU WILL NEED: Wide-toothed comb, deep-conditioning hair mask, clarifying/deep cleansing shampoo, patience and a bit of time to spare.

1. Detangle any 'easy' bits carefully.  Take your time over this - hacking and tugging away with the brush will lead to serious extra damage and potential bald spots.
2. Get in the shower and SATURATE.  
3. Grab a bottle of deep-cleansing shampoo and work it right into your scalp's birdnest, taking care not to be so vigorous as to further tangle the hair. Rinse thoroughly, repeat.  Detangling is mostly difficult at this point because there's so much dried-in spray, so you need to get that OUT.
4. Wring out excess water, coat the lot in a deep conditioning hair mask.
5. (Optional) Apply ultra-sexy shower cap and go watch an episode of your favourite TV show.  I'm watching a re-run of the old Jeremy Brett Sherlock Holmes, Hound of the Baskervilles.  This has no effect on my hair but makes me feel sophisticated.
6. Once you've left the conditioner in for 5-10 minutes minimum, you can either rinse and get on with detangling or begin to comb out the tangles whilst the conditioner is still in. Start from the ends, work towards the roots.  There will still be knots dotted about, and you don't want to suddenly snag one and rip hair out.  They shouldn't be hard to undo though, whereas before you would actually save hair by cutting it out.
7. Enjoy your hair in its natural state.
8. For goodness' sake, don't do that to your hair again for a wee while.  Use hair pieces or clips or something else to decorate your head, but give your poor hair a rest.

 Pictured: pure, unadulterated essence of goth.

*One thing you could do is improve your backcombing technique so you don't end up matting.  But we all make mistakes or overdo it sometimes, and that's what this is for.

Why I don't upload more frequently

Pepper has an uncanny ability to sense the webcam switching on and, 8 out of 10 times, will try and steal the show.

For the record, this is NOT what The Sisters sound like.

As if the death of Ms. Lancaster wasn't enough

Tram thugs stamped on head of woman, 22, at Bury Metrolink stop 'because she was dressed as a Goth' | Prestwich Advertiser - menmedia.co.uk

This is horrifying. Both people had some serious blows to the head, it's amazing they're alive and conscious.

Living up in Glasgow which has a fairly large goth population alongside the infamous 'ned' culture, the worst I've ever received was the indignity of being likened to a Linkin Park fan - attacks do happen but I don't feel particularly threatened 'as a goth' and regularly go out and about in full regalia without a single worry. That attacks like this are a serious concern for many still, particularly (it seems, I'm not certain) south of the border is just chilling.

This goth does not glorify death.

Today is Armistice Day; on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, Europe stopped beating itself into a bloody pulp for 21 years.  Tomorrow, across the continent and here in the UK, wreath will be laid cenotaphs, monuments and graveyards to commemorate the sacrifice of countless young men, men who went into the war believing it'd all be over soon and no-one would get too badly hurt.

Today I mourn the fact that, 93 years on from The War To End All Wars, when almost all who were alive to witness these events are resting beneath the soil, we still have wars, still wear poppies to support the injured and their families, still make excuses for killing innocents and wasting the lives of soldiers. Every war since 1918 is another insult to those who fought in the hopes that we would never again have to go through such horrors.  Let us not forget, also, those conscientious objectors of their day. It takes braveness beyond measure to stand up for what's right in the face of a firing squad, and looking back, knowing (as they believed) how senseless and brutal WWI was, they deserve their place in history too.  There is no day to commemorate them.

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots 
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.
Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . .
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud 
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest

To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Wilfred Owen
8 October 1917 - March, 1918

Goths to hug

I fully recommend hugging Voltaire.  The coat makes it even better.

Beware the wandering hands, though. ;)

But what about the MUSIC, man?

Background music: Road of Bones by the March Violets (Love Will Kill You EP). Yes, I recommend these people and all their music, old and new.
Wearing a t-shirt for rising Dundonian-Scottish stars Surgyn, who may appeal to the electronic-industrio-EBM-something fans - particularly if they enjoy stylised, macabre medical imagery.

What did I do for Hallowe'en?

On the 29th, I attended a flat party in celebration of my friend's birthday.  Due to its proximity to the 31st it naturally had a costumed and spooky theme, so I decided to go as one of my favourite crazy old ladies - Miss Havisham from Great Expectations.  For those who don't know of her, she was abandoned at the altar by her dishonest fiancée and vowed, from that moment, never to forgive or forget.  She raised her adopted daughter to break hearts and remained herself in a time warp, stopping the clocks at twenty-to nine (when she discovered her betrayal), leaving her wedding cake to decay on the table and wearing nothing but her wedding dress and single shoe (having been half-way ready for the wedding when told) for the rest of her days.  In the book, she is in her mid-fifties, pale and waxy from her seclusion within her manor.

I got the wedding dress from a friend, who bought it from a vintage shop and never used it.  Interestingly, it's exactly the same as one modelled by Lady Amaranth in this set; naturally I was very excited to have at least this small thing in common with my modelling idol!

Model: Lady Amaranth

Photography: Kestrel

Photograph from model's LJ here
 

Last night was Bedlam, our monthly Goth night here in Glasgow, and as always the one that lands closest to Hallowe'en is appropriately themed.  I decided at the last minute that, much as I loved it, dragging a long white train around a busy nightclub might not be entirely practical and I had (of course) lent out my facepaints to a friend and didn't have time to get them back, meaning most of my 'quick and easy' costume ideas were out.  Looking through my wardrobe, I grabbed out an old shirt and jeans, crimped, backcombed and sprayed my hair into next week and applied my makeup as if I were looking into a mirror covered in Vaseline.  I don't generally approve of going as 'a goth' for Hallowe'en, but I make exceptions for those dressing as particular goth icons, not least ones whom I greatly admire.  (I have previously dressed as Rose McDowall of Strawberry Switchblade.)  Going as Robert Smith to a goth night also has the benefit of having large amount of people actually 'get' what you're dressed as.

Obligatory bathroom-mirror picture.

 Robert Smith has no need for phone shots.

Only one Edward Scissorhands query all night.  For those interested, the way to remove this level of hair-messing is to gently detangle as much as your scalp can bear slowly, carefully and methodically, then dunk your head in a bucket of intense conditioner whilst begging your hair for forgiveness.

Hope everyone else had a good time!

White Foundation

Right, the video was of dreadful quality such that editing was nigh-impossible.  I was supposed to receive the new webcam today (Logitech this time, model which promises full compatibility with my system) and... didn't, so in the mean time here is a step-by-step guide for applying the most troublesome, oft-abused makeup in the scene.  Like many other goths on a budget, I'm using Stargazer white pressed powder and liquid foundation - you may be using Manic Panic across the pond but I doubt they're much different.  Though cheap, this can be used well provided care is taken.

Put.  The trowel.  Down.

YOU WILL NEED: oil-absorbing papers/papier poudre, white powder, white liquid foundation, translucent powder, foundation/concealer brush, powder brush, concealer (if you're a spotty mess like me), time and patience.
OPTIONAL: primer, liquid foundation in your own skin shade or a shade or two lighter, makeup setting spray

1. Wash your face.  Exfoliate if possible.  If you're using facewash then rinse well, if you use cleanser then remember to tone to get rid of all the last smears.  If you're using the Oil Cleansing Method (I'll get to that later - it's magic), remember to wipe your whole face multiple times with a hot face-cloth, rinsing each time.  In other words, don't leave anything behind.  DO IT PROPERLY.  Do final rinse with cold water to close your pores.
2. Got oily skin?  Let it sit for a few minutes.  Have a cup of tea.  Washing often triggers a release of oil, so you want to mop that up before you apply the makeup.  This has helped me a lot.
3. Moisturise according to skin type.  Again, give it a few minutes afterwards to absorb.
4. Blot your face with some oil absorbing papers. You can get these from E.L.F., Superdrug, Boots etc.  If you don't have any to hand, grab a tissue or kitchen towel.
5. If you have it, apply primer and conceal any blemishes.  If you have oily skin, a LIGHT dusting of translucent powder afterwards might help here.
6. Now for the scary part!  Put a little blob of white foundation on the back of your hand or a small lid - anything to hold it so you don't have to keep tapping it out of that damned glass bottle.  Using your fingertips, apply small dots of it all over your face and then blend, starting from the centre - I use circular motions as if rubbing in moisturiser.  You're looking to create a nice even base to build from.  If you're looking to have a mask-like effect then that's fine, if you want a more 'natural' pallour (as far as 'completely white' is natural) then you'll want to blend out to your ears and down to your neck - anywhere that's exposed.
7. That looks rubbish, doesn't it?!  Don't worry, it's just the base.  You want to leave this to dry.
8. Grab your foundation brush, pick up a little more liquid foundation and start blending carefully over your face, starting from the centre and working outwards.  Blend out streaks and pay attention to any areas particularly prone to redness.  Use small amounts of foundation each time.
9. Continue like this until you reach your desired level of whiteness, then set with a dusting of white powder and some setting spray (if you have it).
10. For a 'pale but not dead' look, you can do step 8 with a mixture of white foundations and your natural tone - I keep some of this mixed up in a little pot for those occasions when 'sheet' may not be an acceptable look.

You're done!  Yes, that took a bit longer than your average foundation application, but if you rush it will look dreadful. If you are using a cheap brand then remember to check it every so often for signs of smudging and creasing, but this should have been minimised.

[UPDATE: Here's a video tutorial showing the most popular way to add paleness as in step 10.]

Next tutorial - White foundation

I'm currently stuck with this laptop's inbuilt cam and mic after ages of fruitless wrangling with both my desktop and netbook and the separate camera, so this video is not exactly beautiful (but it IS in focus ad mostly the right colour, hurrah!).  I'm also getting my head around new software because, as many already know, Windows Movie Maker is not designed for people who want to actually edit their videos.  All should be done by the end of the week.

Eyeliner 101 - It goes 'round your eyes.

I'm here at last and I've made a video.  This covers the absolute basics of applying pencil, liquid and gel liner - where it goes, how best to apply and how to do one form of basic cat-like eye.  No more, no less; this one's for the beginners.  Don't worry about the rubbish focus at the start, the camera was adjusted for close-ups so you can see what I'm doing.

A bit more on eyeliner types:


PENCIL: Also called Kohl.  This is your absolute basic must-have, great for touch-ups, colouring one's waterlines and creating smoky eyes as well as marking where you want liquid liner to go or filling in between lashes.  Also useful to keep in your pocket just in case you or your friends need to be gothed up in an emergency (such as when visiting nurseries - kids love odd-looking people and all goth recruiters know it's best to catch them when they're young).  Most need a sharpener, aside from those 'automatic' twisty ones. 

LIQUID: More long-wearing and versatile than the pencil, this also requires a bit more care when applying. Has various methods of application but generally you'll get 'felt-tip' and 'brush' types. Rest your arm on a table or steady your hand against your face to help minimise wiggles. Use light strokes for fine lines and press a tiny bit more (don't hurt yourself, red-eye is not a good look) for heavier lines.  Wipe excess off the brush before applying and don't fully open your eye until it's dry lest you get blobs of it right under your eyebrow.  A good all-rounder and a must if you want to add wings, dots or flicks beside your eyes - pencil is just too smudgy for this.  DON'T GET THIS IN YOUR EYES, IT'S BLOODY SORE.

GEL: The ultimate eyeliner, and thus the most expensive.  Requires a separate brush, you decide which you think is best.  Good ones are smudge, budge and water-proof, and as stated in a previous post of mine it will stick about even on oily skin.  Very good for drawing extra curlicues if one is so inclined, but remember - if you look like you have a skin disease when you're done, you're probably best leaving those out.


Final tip - don't apply eyeliner before preparing a dinner that has chopped onions in it.


[ETA!  Chris Chaos, burlesque performer, MUA and moustacher-wearer extraordinaire has done a nice quick tutorial for those who prefer a little definition without having big thick lines.  Guyliner my foot - anyone can do this. ;)]

What I'm testing tonight

Forgive the dreadfully-lit picture and somewhat daft expression. I'm off to dance the night away and, should my makeup last, I'll have a couple of things to recommend and use in my eyeliner review.

Foundation a mixture of Lily Lolo Porcelean and Gothic Geisha white mineral powders (both in the big makeup list below), eyeliner Maybelline Lasting Drama gel liner (new in today, never used before), lipstick Rimmel, eyeshadow MUA.


ETA: Here's what the eyeliner looked like after a night of dancing.  I'm bedraggled, sweaty and tired, but the black has not budged  - not a single trip to the mirror for touch-ups required!  We have a winner!